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C#   B      C#       F#
Who maddest one on the M1
Who hasn't stopped sucking his thumb
Who very straight and never grins
Who cares what car he's driving in

Chorus:
C#                A#             D#       B
He is because he saw it on a commercial break
           C#
And if he doesn't get what
A#                   D#        B
He wants then he'll get a headache
            C#        A#       D#      B
Because he wants it, needs it, almost loves it
C#    A#         F#
He's here on his own, on globe alone

Who joined health club to glisten
Into hi-fi precision
Who mobile phone gives him the bone
Who very keen on Sharon Stone

Chorus:
He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what
he wants then he gets a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
He's here on his own, all globe alone

Here on his own, all globe alo-lo-lo-lo-lone
And then he says

Who eats at the new brasserie
Who only ever gets merry
Who wouldn't be seen at bedtime
Without putting Calvin Kleins on

Chorus:
He is because he saw it on a commercial break
And if he doesn't get what
he wants then gets a headache
Because he needs it, wants it, almost, loves it
He's here on his own, all globe alone

Here on his own, all globe alone
Here on his own