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 E                  B       A                  E
Come on, cum on my face, cucumber from outer space!
                            B       A                  E
Won’t you please cum on my face, cucumber from outer space!

’Cause I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,
Bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,

I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,
Bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual.

Come on, come on, you can, you gonna put me through the "Homo-Scan"!
Won't you please, come on, you can, you gonna put me through the "Homo-Scan"!

’Cause I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,
I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,

I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,
Bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual.

Kafka!
Kafka!

Well, I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,
Yes, I’m a fucking bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,

I’m a bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual,
Bullshit existentialist Kafka-reading Russian intellectual!..